A kiss is just a kiss.
Well, no, a kiss IS a kiss, is holy, is divine. There are good things about not rushing into sex. For me this includes enjoying the sexuality of kissing.Please do not underestimate the fun, delight and joy of this. I spent hours of my teen years pashing (What is a long kiss called in the 21st Century?) and it is still one of my favourite activities. Many a Saturday night was spent in the arms of a young man, kissing. Oh, the memories are sweet. And there's little risk involved in kissing. You are unlikely to get in trouble if an adult discovers you, you won't get pregnant, you are unlikely to catch an STI, but you could catch a cold sore so look out for that. ( I caught a cold sore off my boyfriend who had offered not to kiss me and I should have accepted his offer.) So, I encourage you not to be in a hurry to get to no. 2 or 3 or 4. Spend time enjoying no.1 and developing your skills at it. For me a good kisser is most desirable and just like with anything, practise makes perfect. N.B. Do be aware and not naive, like I was. You need to know that kissing can lead to sexual arousal and make you vulnerable to becoming more sexually involved than you want to be. This can be a greater issue for young men than young women and young women need to be aware of this but young men also need to take responsibility. My youth group leaders used to tell my boyfriend and I, every now and then to 'come up for air' and now I know that they were right.

A cuddle.
My husband told our children, 'There is nothing as overrated as a bad fuck and nothing as underrated as a good cuddle.' I consider this very good advice.

Wisdom
Be wise about sexual activity. Just because you can, doesn't mean it's a good idea. Please don't think I am saying 'Go have sex. Full stop.' I am not. Sexual intercourse is a beautiful experience in the right context. Marriage can be one of those contexts but only if certain criteria are met.

What criteria?
Being and feeling safe. Sex is fabulous but it is also one of the most vulnerable experiences of life. Sex works for me when I feel safe, loved, held and cared for; when I trust my lover. This is why marriage can be a wise place for sex. Sex is about play and most of us do not play well when we don't feel safe. For sex to be great you need to be confident you have privacy. Being worried that you are going to be disturbed is not helpful. You need to feel that your lover has your best interests at heart and will respect your wishes and you theirs. For example, that if you change your mind and want to stop that they will stop and will be okay with that. This is true within marriage as well. If you say no to sex before or during sex and this request is ignored, that is rape. Inside or outside of marriage or a relationship, it is rape. This is important to know and remember and hold onto.

Communication
Sex is about communication. If you are not ready to say 'That feels nice' or 'I don't like that. I prefer this.', then you are not ready for a sexual relationship. Sex is knowing where communication begins and ends. Your sex life is your business and the business of your sexual partner. Being safe includes being confident that your lover will keep your sexual experience confidential. You don't want to be worrying that s/he is gossiping about what you sexual relationship. Again, I believe that if you are not ready to keep your sexual experiences to yourself, then you are not ready for a sexual relationship.

The important exception
The very strong exception to this is when sex is wrong. If you are in a sexual relationship where you are being abused, where there is an imbalance of power, where you are not freely choosing what is happening and/or are being hurt in any way, confidentiality does not apply at all. Confidentiality must not be kept. You need to tell someone straightaway or as soon as you can. Someone you trust. Maybe your minister, a teacher, a friend, a friend's parent. In this situation you have done nothing wrong. You need protection and to help others to be safe by reporting the person who is hurting you. Sexual abuse and rape are criminal acts, even within families and within marriage. Traditionally, it has been called domestic violence but I call it criminal violence because even though it happens at home or within a marriage or family context, it IS a crime of violence. God does not judge you for this or condemn you. God hurts with you, feels sad with you. God loves you and wants you to find safety, too be free of the abuse. God wants you to receive healing for the abuse and hurt you have suffered. You can get through this and be free to move on, in time, to enjoy a sexual relationship that is respectful, loving, safe and appropriately mutual. Reporting the abuse and receiving help will ensure that this is so.

A gift from God.
Sexuality is one of God's most beautiful gifts to be enjoyed and savoured. Like all precious things it needs to be valued and appreciated. We shouldn't take it for granted and we need to treat it with the respect it deserves to ensure it stays a precious part of our lived experience.